If you ask a random person on the street if she'd be happier after winning the lottery, finding the perfect partner or landing the job of her dreams, chances are that the answer is yes. If you ask yourself the same question, you might just say the same thing, provided that you are unacquainted with the emerging field of positive psychology, also known as the science of happiness. According to positive psychologists, people do get happier after winning the lottery. But this happiness lasts only for a short period of time and they soon return to their initial state. Similarly, indiviuals who experience traumatic events and major personal losses, like the amputation of a limb or the death of a dear one, have a period of adjustment to the new situation in which their level of happiness decreases. However, after a certain amount of time, these levels bounce back to what they used to be.
Positive psychologists trace the roots of happiness or lack of to three major components: external circumstances, intentional behavior and genetics. Now, believe it or not, external circumstances, like winning the lottery or going through an unexpected divorce, are accountable for only 10% of your happiness. 50% of it is explained by genetics, while the remaining 40% can be attributed to intentional behavior. As we don't have much control over external events and genetics (at least right now), we should aim to increase our happiness set points by working on our thoughts, attitude and overall behavior.
So, what kind of behavioral changes should one consider? The answer suggested by the scientists of happiness is strikingly simple: imitation. More specifically, the imitation of the behavioral patterns that happy people usually exhibit. After several studies in this direction, compassion, gratitude and mindfulness appear as favorites in the search for happiness. Many practices revolving around the cultivation of these three traits have already been shown to work, so let me give you a few examples from Sonja Lyubomirsky's The How of Happiness:
- expressing gratitude
- cultivating optimism
- avoiding overthinking and social comparison
- practicing acts of kindness
- nurturing social relationships
- learning to forgive
- increasing flow experiences
- savoring small joyful moments
- committing to your goals
- practicing spirituality
- meditation
- physical activity
- acting like a happy person
The science of happiness and its focus on the cultivation of compassion have managed to capture the attention of the Dalai Lama himself, who has even co-authored a book in the positive psychology vein, called 'The Art of Happiness'. Now, this book might come as a surprise, given that Buddhism has its own theory of happiness and of happiness boosting practices, which focuses on a deeper understanding of the self and which does not really look for much help from the outside. Thus, while positive psychology asks us to be happy by imitating happy people, Buddhism asks us to reflect on the source of our unhappiness and try to eliminate it. The Buddhist philosophy identifies attachment as the main obstacle to true happiness. As this thinking goes, happiness is the lack of unhappiness and unhappiness results from being attached to material things, other people, ideas and even to your self and to your body. Once you get rid of attachments, nothing can hurt you and, thus, all that remains is an unhappiness-free state, which might as well be called happiness.
The search for happiness is not easy and, at points, it might even get confusing. The tenets of positive psychology and Buddhism, which represent the main directions in this field, do not exactly overlap and it could even be argued that they aim for different goals. The happiness pursued by psychologists is of a more joyful kind, while the one referred to in Buddhism is focused more on individual peace and calmness. In spite of this, the science of happiness and the Buddhist philosophy agree on one major thing: happiness is not outside of you, but inside. Unless you're among the lucky few who just happen to be born happy, you have to decide to be happy, to be willing to be happy and to get ready to work for it. This is the first step and everything else will just follow naturally.
So go ahead and claim your happiness!
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