In a world that values instant gratification, high self-esteem, a rule-breaking attitude and a general departure form the strict Victorian ethics, it is worth being remembered every once in a while about the virtues of self-control and willpower. From an early age we are being taught that we are unique in uniquely different ways and the paths we take, unless openly outrageous, need to be accepted as uniquely ours. Good and bad seem to have lost face while confronted with the impending storm of diversity and its multiple shades that derive from the singularity of our selves.
In this context in which video games have been deliberately rendered easier so that more people could excel at them, when trophies for different sport competitions do not stop at the third place but go beyond, when parents flamboyantly praise any art work of their offspring that is not in itself artistic nor close to it, Baumeister and Tierney take on the difficult task of reminding us that willpower and self-control are valuable traits to be developed in order to build one's character and achieve personal success. The cultivation of willpower and self-control go beyond the stream of current personal development techniques due to its emphasis on the need to respect rather than break rules and to develop a generally disciplined attitude towards all aspects of life. It encourages 'if then' algorithms for thinking, precommitments and delayed gratification.
The book is marvelously written. It is abundant in experiment descriptions and references that help unravel the essence of willpower and self-control, the way in which they work and the methods through which they can be trained. I don't usually say this easily, but 'Willpower' is a must read for any person of any age, as it covers both general and specific topics that we are confronted with everyday, among which parenting, dieting, procrastination, just to name a few, are brilliantly exposed.
My favorite quotes
The point of self-control isn't simply to be more "productive". People today don't have to work as hard as Ben Franklin and the Victorians did. In the nineteenth century, the typical worker had barely an hour of free time per day and didn't even think about retiring. Today we spend only about a fifth of our adult waking hours on the job. The remaining time is an astonishing gift - an unprecedented blessing in human history - but it takes an unprecedented type of self-control to enjoy it. Too many of us tend to procrastinate even when it comes to pleasure because we succumb to the planning fallacy when we estimate "resource slack", as behavioral economists term it. We assume we'll magically have more free time in the future than we do today.
Self-control is ultimately about much more than self-help. It's essential for savoring your time on earth and sharing joy with the people you love.
Your supply of willpower is limited, and you use the same resource for many different things. Each day may start off with your stock of willpower fresh and renewed, at least if you've had a good night sleep and a healthy breakfast. But then all day things chip and nibble away at it. The complexity of modern life makes it difficult to keep in mind the all those seemingly unrelated chores and demands draw on the same account inside of you.
"Me, I wait for inspiration", [Raymond Chandler] said, but he did it methodically every morning. He believed that a professional writer needed to set aside at least four hours a day for his job: "He doesn't have to write, and if he doesn't feel like it, he shouldn't try. He can look out of the window or stand on his head or write on the floor, but he is not to do any other positive thing, not read, write letters, glance at magazines, or write checks." This Nothing Alternative is a marvelously simple tool against procrastination for just about any kind of task.
Dieters have a fixed target in mind for their maximum daily calories, and when they exceed it for some unexpected reason, such as being given a air of milkshakes in an experiment, they regard their diet as blown for the day. That day is therefore mentally classified as a failure, regardless of what else happens. Virtue cannot resume until tomorrow. So they think, 'What the hell, I might as well enjoy myself today' - and the resulting binge often puts on far more weight than the original lapse. It's not rational, but dieters don't even seem to be aware of how much damage these binges do [.]
People working in what Flynn calls elite professions, like physicians, scientists, and accountants, generally have an IQ above a certain threshold. For white Americans, that threshold is an IQ of 110, but Chinese-Americans manage to get the same elite jobs with an IQ of only 103. [...] The pattern is similar for Japanese-Americans. By virtue of self-control - hard work, diligence, steadiness, reliability - the children of immigrants from East Asia can do as well as Americans with higher IQs.
After reading this book, I've decided to...
... train my self-control and willpower by taking a cold shower everyday. To say that I love cold showers would be a gross exaggeration, but I do love the way they make me feel about myself, my strength and my determination. No matter how the day turns out, I have this one achievement that cannot be matched by other healthy habits that I've developed throughout the years. The act of gasping for air after the first contact with the icy cold water doesn't come close to the general state of relaxation and well-being that I have, for instance, after meditation or physical exercise. It's anything but pleasurable (at least, for me) and this is what makes it all the more valuable.
...train my self-control and willpower by brushing my teeth with my left hand once a day. Basically, this boils down to decomposing an automatic process, which leads to increased awareness and brain plasticity.
...train my self-control and willpower by checking and adjusting my posture every time I happen to think about it. This is not an especially difficult task. Its value, nonetheless, resides in its uninterrupted continuity, which may lead in time to a slower rate of willpower depletion.
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