Why Modesty is Not a Virtue

Every time we think and say nice things about other people, there is that little voice in our head that takes the time and effort to congratulate us on this accomplishment. It is indeed one of the most beautiful things to be kind – in thought, speech, and action – with our fellows.

However, whenever we want to harbor that loving and admiring attitude towards ourselves, we automatically feel compelled to add the same overused phrases, like 'in all modesty' or 'modesty aside'. Our own positive self-evaluation is nowadays mostly accompanied by an apologetic triad meant to show that although we might be speaking highly of ourselves right now, that's not what we usually do and for sure not what we usually think!

Why should this be the case, though? What are the reasons for which I should be prevented from admiring and recognizing the beauty that resides within me? Why is it a good thing to appreciate other people but not yourself?

Modesty is the answer to all of the above questions! We have been used to perceiving modesty as a cardinal virtue for quite some time already and what we've learned is that modesty is morally desirable for obvious reasons.

Modesty is good because it prevents boastfulness.

Modesty is good because it encourages humility.

Modesty is good because it fosters compassion and empathy.

Modesty is good because the human being is an imperfect creation.

Modesty is good because, through it, we may come to realize our downsides.

Modesty is good because it limits our egos.

Modesty is good because it forces us to see beyond ourselves.

Yes, in short, modesty is so very good!

Now, what would you say if I told you, in all possible earnest, that modesty is not only not good, but rather very bad and undesirable? I have my own list of reasons to argue for this and I will happily provide it in the next lines.

First of all, modesty is dishonesty. Whenever I am being modest, I am not being honest. I am hiding myself, while at the same time I'm hiding the fact that I'm hiding myself, all with the help of the polite and socially approved mask of – yes, you already guessed by now – modesty.

Modesty is bad because it is self-deceiving. Not acknowledging my beauty means that I can never have a full picture of who I am and, together with it, of what I want in this life.

Modesty is bad because it lowers my self-esteem and creates frustrations. If I cannot admit that I'm good and bright, then what choice do I have other then to believe that I'm mostly ugly and unappealing?

Modesty is bad because it prevents me from growing and from knowing when I've grown. There is no progress chart when you're not being honest to yourself, no before and after pics.

Modesty is bad because it severs the authenticity of my relationships with other people. Not letting significant others see me in my true light means that we will never be able to communicate deeply and wholeheartedly.

Finally, modesty is bad because it convincingly pretends to be otherwise. It's the friendly and charismatic back-stabber surrounded by an aura of innocence. 

We're living in a world where being modest is an unquestionable quality and we take it for granted up to the point that we give up discussing it even before we start to. Blinded by modesty, you will never be able to see your good side, your divine bits, and cultivate them properly. 

So please, do let go of your modesty! I'm not going to say it's easy, but it's not particularly hard either. You don't need to boast all your virtues in order to stop being modest. That's not what this is all about. Just be true to yourself, to who you are, to what you hold dear and show this to others as well.

Only then will you be able to become the person you've always wanted to be!